My Summer Part II

I definitely miss the Summer days of going to the beach and relaxing all day long. However, once the week-long vacation was over, I was put to work. During the rest of the Summer, I volunteered at UMDNJ, the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey in order to finally see how a hospital actually works. However, I discovered that everything was a lot different than I pictured.

When I was assigned to work in the PAC-U (Post-Anesthesia Care Unit), I expected a lively day filled with a million different exciting moments to keep myself preoccupied and busy. Before I could find out how "exciting" it was, I was switched into Same Day Surgery. Working in Same Day Surgery became one of the worst experiences of my life.

I found myself mixed in with a bunch of gregarious nurses, but they didn't seem to like me very much. I never exactly knew why, but they always treated me like a pariah. I mean, I know I was only a volunteer and not an actual worker, but they didn't have to treat me differently. I would assume nurses are nice and caring to everyone, but I was wrong. I realized some of the people in Same Day Surgery were the antipodes of what I expected them to be. I knew they laughed at me sometimes when I didn't seem to be around, and they would criticize me too. I tried hard to be chary; I think I wanted to win them over with all my effort.

There was one time when a nurse tried to be nice to me. She taught me how to take a patients' temperature, and how to take his vitals. I was ecstatic. I thought that if I were finally useful, then the other nurses would like me. Oh how I was so very wrong. While I was taking the temperature of a patient, a different nurse began to yell at me. Apparently I wasn't allowed to take the temperature or check the vitals. The nurse started yelling things like, "What if you took the wrong temperature? What if you did something wrong? Then the hospital would be blamed! You're only a volunteer, what if something suddenly went wrong?" The whole time I was silent and wondering so many different things. How exactly was this completely my fault? One nurse told me to do it, and I did it. Why was I the only one wrong in this situation?

At this point, the nurse that was yelling at me began to exacerbate me. I was getting angrier and angrier at each word directed towards me. Who was she to yell at me? I only did what I was told. I was following the orders of another nurse like a well-behaved minion. What, exactly, was wrong with that?

And is it possible that my day could have actually been made worse? Why yes, it could. While I was in the back doing other work I was assigned, I went towards the Nurses Station to grab something. When I got close enough, I heard a bunch of roaring laughter. They were talking about what had just happened with me. They talked about me as if I were an ingénue. The nurse who taught me how to take the temperature and vitals was the women laughing the hardest. She was defending herself, but she said nothing to clear my name at all. I was suddenly hit with a paroxysm of emotions. I was angry, but then overwhelming grief struck me.

I tried to come up with excuses as to why the nurses acted the way they did. I tried to see it from their point of view. I tried to describe them in the nicest ways possible to my family, but every single nice thing I said about them disappeared. Once the nurses started to make fun of me and laugh at me, that was when I abjured every belief I had in them. I tried to believe they were completely good people. I tried to believe that they probably just had a hard week, but I learned that I was wrong.

I ended up breaking down and crying. I felt like an idiot, and it was obvious the nurses thought I was one too. I was constantly importuned with crazy assignments, and I had nothing to show for it. I was never appreciated being there, and I only caused more trouble for the nurses. Everything just hit me. I was a naive girl that did everything wrong. In order to preclude an event like this from happening ever again, I decided I would go to the volunteer office and change the section I was assigned to.

Because I actually did know someone working in the hospital, I was allowed to shadow her instead of working in Same Day Surgery. I was actually allowed to switch from Same Day Surgery back to the PAC-U, but I would normally just shadow my family friend. She was a PA (physician's assistant) for the Assistant Dean of the University Medical School. He was an eminent man known all around the hospital. His main focus dealt with Pediatric Surgery.

When I discovered I was allowed to shadow such an important doctor, I was filled with brio. I would finally get to see what I wanted to see: surgeries. Another great thing about shadowing this man, was the fact that he was so important. Medical students would shadow him too, in order to gain experience. This time, I wasn't alone. I was able to listen to enigmatic discussions, where the students and the Assistant Dean used random medical terms I had never heard before. It was actually more interesting than I thought it would be. Even though I didn't understand more than half the things they said, I enjoyed shadowing and observing. For the first time since I had arrived there, I was actually enjoying what I had to do.

The experience filled me with both happiness and sadness. There was one time I went into the pediatric emergency room. The sight of it was depressing already. There was one time in particular when I was forced to watch the PA try to resuscitate a baby that was only a few weeks old. The maudlin mother was sitting on a chair watching the sight, crying the entire time. Every time I think back to that day, I get begin to feel sorry again. The nurses and doctors attempted to resuscitate the baby for over half an hour. By then, everyone knew the ending to the story. The baby was dead. It was as if God commandeered the baby's life, and the doctor's could do nothing to stop it. Was it really time for such a young baby to go? The scene haunts me. For the first time in my life, I had witnessed the reality of human mortality.